I tossed and turned the whole night, thinking about the description of the town my counterpart had given me: “A desert, fairly flat, without any mountains”. All the doubts that had been festering under the surface all came out at once. What if I didn't like it? What if I didn't make friends? What if my schools were bad or didn't want me there? I asked myself if, after all the talk, all the waiting, all the hype, all I had gone through to be here, was I really ready to commit the next 2 years of my life in this place. Thinking of all the other things I could be doing with the time, I couldn't honestly answer.

The bus ride the next morning helped ease my mind a bit. I had a great conversation with Lucia, one of the teachers that I'll be working with who had come out to accompany me to my new home. As the bus made its way around the windy, bumpy roads up into the Guatemalan highlands, we talked about things we had in common—books, music, etc, and told each other a bit about our lives. She's very inspiring. After teaching every morning, she rides 40 minutes to Quiche every afternoon to take university classes towards her degree in bilingual education. She's on a scholarship and is only 21 years old. It was really cool to see her dedication and inspiration to improve her own future as well as the future of her community. As busy as she is, she also offered to give me K'iche classes in the evenings. I can already see that we'll become friends.

Upon arrival in my community, I had a sigh of relief to discover that, in contrast to the flat desert I had imagined, my site had plenty of trees and rolling hills fading into 2 pretty impressive mountain ranges in the distance on either side. Like Colorado, the sky is wide open, and from the rooftop patio of the house I was staying in temporarily, I could see for probably over 50 miles. The town itself is fairly small and tranquil, but not tiny. It's in a pretty isolated corner of Guatemala, but only about half an hour from Quiche, a fairly major city. Wednesday is market day, when the quiet streets come to life and teem with people buying and selling everything from fresh produce to toothbrushes. It's not the most dramatically beautiful site in the world, but has a very simple, unassuming beauty. In short, it's really the kind of site I would have pictured when I first thought about joining the Peace Corps.

My first full day in town was spent meeting local officials. I met the police, the justice of the peace, the doctor and other people at the health center, and a few other local people I will want to have a relationship with over the next 2 years. They were all very welcoming, which made me feel comfortable. The mayor wasn't available to meet yet, but I'm planning to meet him next week when I go back to my site.

The second day I finally got to visit one of the 3 rural schools I will be working in. It was a wonderful visit! After all the countless visits I've made to different schools during training, it felt so good to finally be able to say this was MY school, MY students, the faces I'll be working with for the next 2 years. The small, 2 story school is located a few kilometers from town among corn fields and pine trees, with a beautiful view of the surrounding countryside. I arrived with the school director right as the morning assembly was beginning. After singing the Guatemalan national anthem, I was introduced to the school's 150 or so kids. They sang me a welcome song and a few classes did some dances they had prepared. I introduced myself over the microphone and loudspeakers they'd set up for the occasion, and taught everyone the “Healthy Schools” song, which they took to immediately. Then I went around to each classroom and talked to them individually. Going from classroom to classroom, I had a great time and felt really effective. It made me realize how much I've learned in the last few years, and gave me the feeling that all the training, all the skills and experiences I've acquired while waiting to enter the Peace Corps, as well as my own personality, had all crystallized in that one place. It was really a breakthrough to realize how far I'd come, how much I'd really accomplished.

I had another breakthrough the next day when I visited the second of the three schools I'll be working in. In contrast to the first school, this one was a lot smaller, quieter, and more rural, with less than 60 students. I could immediately see that it would require more work than the first, but was soon encouraged by the experience. After meeting the school's 2 teachers and some of the parents of the school committee, I had the chance to meet the kids. I was a bit worried because the first language of people here is K'iche, and I'd been told the kids here may not speak Spanish particularly well. Nonetheless, when entering the first classroom I was greeted by a strong “BUENOS DIAS! PASE ADELANTE!” “GOOD MORNING! COME IN!” I introduced myself to the kids and told them who I was and what I would be doing there with them, then had everyone stand up and introduce themselves. I wanted to get a sense of what the kids were like—if they were comfortable talking up or if they were really timid, as well as gaging how well they spoke Spanish. Despite a few quiet kids, I was happy with the results. Next I taught them a few of the Healthy Schools songs, which talk about basic hygiene issues such as hand washing and brushing your teeth. The kids really got into them, and understanding Spanish didn't seem to be a problem. After the songs I made a few balloon animals for the class.

As I was singing a song about brushing your teeth, which involved me jumping and dancing around the classroom, much to the kids' amusement and laughter, I turned around and noticed a group of about 15 women standing at the door, staring at me rather oddly. Then I remembered being told that the mother's of the kids were coming to meet me. After finishing up in the class and saying goodbye to the kids, I went out to the earthen school yard to introduce myself to them. I wasn't sure how much of my Spanish they understood, but the president of the school committee translated my words in K'iche, mixing in enough words in Spanish here and there that I could roughly follow what he was talking about. As I was standing in front of the women explaining my role as a Peace Corps volunteer, I saw from the way they looked and paid attention to me (even if they didn't understand everything) that these women really wanted the best future for their kids, and they were really counting on me. It was obvious that they respected me and thought I knew what I was talking about. This confidence was a bit unnerving, but then I had the realization, “Wait a minute, I really DO know what I'm talking about! I may not be a complete expert yet, but the things I'm talking about are the things I've been learning about the last 3 months.” Peace Corps keeps emphasizing that as volunteers, we are “development professionals”. Standing in front of those mothers, I really felt like a development professional for the first time in my life. It was a great feeling, and one that I hope to have a lot more in the next 2 years.

I stayed at the school the whole day, playing soccer and some other activities with the kids during recess. There was one little firecracker, probably all of 7 years old, that kept on getting the ball past me, over and over again—it was frustrating but I couldn't help but laugh. When I left I already felt a rapport with them, and they asked me when I'd be back. When I left town the next morning to head back for my last week of training at the Peace Corps center, I felt good, thinking that I could really see myself being happy here in my new home for the next 2 years.

This week I've been busy finishing things at the Peace Corps center and tying up all the loose ends. Tomorrow we have our swearing in ceremony with the U.S. Ambassador at his residence in Guatemala City. We'll spend the weekend celebrating in Antigua before all heading off to our separate corners of the country on Sunday.

I know the positive experiences I'm having stand in stark contrast to the overall pattern of the world these days. I continue hearing about senseless acts of violence continuing to happen every day throughout the country. Listening to the international news, it seems that the rest of the world is falling apart while I'm here. Nonetheless, in the little forgotten corner of Guatemala I now call home, I have found reason for great hope and optimism.

AND YOUR HOME FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS WILL BE...

They had us close our eyes, all of us along the line of the basketball court with a big map of Guatemala drawn in chalk. One by one they took us by the hand and led us to our new homes for the next 2 years. As Sergio, our program director (ie my boss) relished leading my stumbling across the country, I tried to follow my path. At first I felt myself headed north to Alta Verapaz, the lowland jungle of Guatemala, but suddenly Sergio turned my path sharply to the left, westward towards the highlands. Where was I headed? To Huehuetanango, where I had visited the week before? Could it be to to Solola, the department of beautiful Lake Atitlan? I hoped it wouldn't be Chimaltenango. I suspected somewhere in Totonicapan, where we already knew the great bulk of our group would be heading. When we opened our eyes, I found my suspicions were correct as I looked at the information folder they had placed in our hands, and gazed for the first time at the name which would define my new destiny.

Unfortunately, for security reasons I'm not allowed to actually post the specific name of my site, but I can tell you it has a cool sound. It's in the very north of the department of Totonicapan, but far more isolated than the other sites in the south where the majority of the group is. I'm actually closer to the city of Santa Cruz de Quiche in the Quiche department. As I read through the information, my thoughts were a mixture of nervousness and excitement. While I am still nervous, I have to admit that the site is really pretty much everything I asked for during my interview a few weeks ago. The main point I tried to get across was for a site that was balanced—I didn't mind being isolated, but didn't want to be the MOST isolated site in the country. My new site is fairly “out there” in what I'd definitely describe as a forgotten corner of the country, but is only a half hour bus ride from a major city. It's pretty small, as I asked for, but not tiny, and has a market and basic services. I'd asked for a site with a large indigenous population, and my new home is 97% Quiche Maya—I'm greatly looking forward to throwing myself into learning the Quiche language (but we'll see how my enthusiasm holds up in a few months). There is at least 1 volunteer within I think about half an hour from me, and lots within a couple hours drive (unfortunately there isn't bus service to the rest of the province, so I think my friends in the other parts of the department will be further than they would be otherwise). One of the most significant aspects of my site is that it is new to the Healthy Schools project. While the rest of my colleagues will be replacing other volunteers and continuing the project in schools where it has already been established, I was the one volunteer assigned to a “first generation” site. The good news is that I'll get to spend a lot more time in the classroom, and should hopefully be able to really make progress in introducing the project in the schools and getting things going. The challenge, however, is that everything will be new, and it seems like I really have my work cut out for me. From what I've heard from other volunteers, a lot of my time will be spent just explaining who I am and what I'm doing here, and I'll need to keep my expectations realistic for the pace of change and progress.

After getting over the initial shock and excitement, and comparing our sites with everyone else, most of us headed to Antigua for a celebration. I couldn't stay long however, because I had to go home and pack for our trip to Esquipulas with our host families. Every year the family makes a religious pilgrimage to the holy city, in the east of Guatemala near the border with Honduras.

That night we loaded onto the bus at around midnight. At 5 a.m., after a long, awful ride of trying in vain to get comfortable on the school bus seats, endlessly trying different positions to rest my head somewhere, all the while with music blaring through the speakers, we arrived in the bus terminal of Esquipulas. It was still dark, and Glenda and Daly went to find us a hotel (they explained that if us Gringos went, they would try to charge us more money, although I'm pretty proud of my bargaining skills and wonder if I could have helped out). After they found a place and we dragged our bags a few blocks to the hotel. The first thing we did after depositing our bags in our rooms was to walk the 2 blocks to the main cathedral—an enormous white building with 4 enormous symmetrical bell towers at each corner. A large park surrounds the cathedral, and it was filled with trees with pink blossoms which reminded me of Washington D.C.'s cherry blossoms around this same time of year. A large market selling a mixture of souvenirs and religious trinkets was adjacent to the park. Mass was just starting, but we got in a line at the side of the building. After waiting several minutes, we came to the statue of the “Cristo Negro”--the “Black Christ”. I didn't quite understand the significance, but apparently it's a very important statue and is known and visited by religious pilgrims throughout all of Central America. After having a few seconds to pray in front of the statue, the person would back away slowly, never turning their back to Christ until they reached the exit at the side of the building.

Back at the hotel, we had breakfast right as light was finally filling the sky. They had cooked food the night before in Xenacoj, and in order to save money continued to cook pretty much ever meal the entire weekend on little camping-style barbeque stoves with open fires heated by fire wood. It was a lot of fun to all eat together out in the parking lot, a combination of camping and tailgating! We had to sigh, however, that even on vacation it seemed at times that all the women did was cook.

After breakfast we left the hotel walking towards the giant hill/small mountain a few kilometers away. “Abuelita” (literally “little Grandmother”, the 85 year old great grandmother of the family who speaks Kakqchiquel and only a bit of Spanish) came with us, and I was quite impressed by her drive and stamina, even though she eventually did get in a tuk-tuk to bring her up the final stretch. When we arrived at the mountain, the procession stopped at each of the 20+ stations to do a prayer and penitance. Each station represented different parts of the crucifixion of Christ, and the idea was to experience the pain and suffering he endured on the cross.

I had such mixed feelings about the whole thing, as I did at many times throughout the weekend. For one side I see Christianity as a religion brought and imposed upon the indigenous population by the invading Spanish conquistadores. Ironically, Guatemala's indigenous population are usually the most devoutly faithful. The only explanation for this that I can see is that it is a way for these people who have suffered and continue suffering through so much injustice in this life to make sense of this unfairness, and to have hope for a more just future in the afterlife. Unfortunately most people are ignorant of the country's history, the rich culture that existed before the arrival of the Spanish, and the brutal history that came with Christianity's arrival to Guatemala. Nonetheless, on the other hand, Christianity has now become the established religion, a religion that is probably more dominant in this country than in any other that I have seen. Despite my reservations and problems, it is undeniably arrogant and patronizing to criticize the culture and its beliefs, whatever their origin. Moreover, only an arrogant or deeply cynical person would fail to be touched by the sincerity, the humbleness, the unity and genuine hope represented by people expressing their faith as they do in Esquipulas. Women and men, children and old people alike, all united in a common faith. I must admit I was a bit envious of the simplicity and purpose these strong religious beliefs seemed to bring to the people.

The following day we slept in and spent the morning and early afternoon at a local park and river which people swam in. We cooked carne asada (“grilled meat”), joked around, and relaxed in the shade . Guatemalan music blared in the background, and I realized how much a part of this country I've become when I realized that I could sing along to almost all of the songs.

The highlight of the entire trip for me came that afternoon. I was hanging out in the parking lot of the hotel when Chica motioned for me to come over. She brought me into her room and handed me a black plastic bag. I opened it to find a beautiful white T-shirt with a woven design of a Quetzal and other patterns, and the word “GUATEMALA” written in big letters. “We wanted to give you a present, said Chica. “I hope you like it.” My eyes became moist as I realized how much I had connected with my new family, and how much I'm going to miss them.

After another long long bus ride yesterday, we arrived back in Xenacoj around dusk, pleasantly surprised that Egma, the family's sister in law, had made Chuchitos (“little pigs”--corn dough filled with little pieces of pork, wrapped in corn husks and boiled—kind of like tamales) for everyone, and we had a wonderful final dinner before heading off to shower and go to bed.

This morning we headed back to the Peace Corps center to meet our counterparts—representatives from our projects from the communities we'll be working with who came to meet us, do some activities, and escort us to our new communities tomorrow. I greeted Julio, the director of schools in my community, and Lucia, a teacher at one of the schools I'll be working in. They seemed like very nice people, genuinely interested both in getting to know me and working with me. I'm excited and nervous to head to my site tomorrow. They told me a bit about the community, but it is all still a mystery to me. What will it be like? Will there be enough to do, or I be bored? Will it be too hot, or too cold? Too dry? Will it be pretty? Most importantly, will I be able to find local friends to share my time and experiences with, or will I be lonely? Only time will tell. It's getting late, so I suppose I should stop writing and get some rest.

I'm probably more nervous right now than I've ever been since arriving in Guatemala.

We are all very excited to receive our site assignments TOMORROW! It´s strange to think that the next to years of my life are still such a mystery--Even though I´ve been in country almost 3 months, most of the people I´ll meet and become close with, the places I´ll get to know like the back of my hand, are still a big question mark.

Today was my fellow trainee Adrian´s birthday, and we just had a very nice dinner for him followed by dancing and lots of laughter. We realize that we´ll only be in Xenacoj a few more short weeks, and will be saying goodbye to our new families with mixed emotions. Tomorrow we´re all going on a long weekend vacation to Esquipulas with our families--more details to come.

This afternoon we did a ¨Taller¨ a ¨Workshop¨ for Joel and Cesár, the 2 teachers at the school in San Antonio that we´ve been working with the last 2 months. After cooking them a lunch of cheese empanadas from scratch, we did a variety of activities, such as activities and discussions designed to identify goals and ideas on how to improve the school, as well as information on educational methodology, the participatory learning cycle, etc. I led a discussion about classroom management and different learning styles. We were a bit nervous beforehand, especially since we did the planning a bit last minute, but everything seemed to really go well, and our technical trainer Carlos told us we did an excellent job. It made us realize that we actually have learned alot and that we may just make it here after all!

The only major recent event was my trip last week to visit Katie, a Healthy Schools volunteer in Huehuetanango, a highland province in the Northwest of Guatemala right below the Mexican border. I had a wonderful 3 days. The over 5 hour bus ride was beautiful and actually enjoyable, and I realized that sitting on busses for hours on end no longer seems to phase me in the slightest. The first morning we hiked 2 and a half hours up a mountain to one of Katie´s schools.
It was tiring but gorgeous--from the top we could see 5 of Guatemala´s over 30 volcanos, all spread out across the sweeping landscape. Distant volcán de fuego (which is visible from here in Xenacoj from another angle) was puffing smoke at frequent intervals. The most interesting thing I learned was the fact that at the 3 schools Katie works in, all different places on the same mountain, they speak 3 different indigenous languages! While I would love the opportunity to learn one indigenous language, I think 3 may be a bit much. I really enjoyed seeing a different part of Guatemala I hadn´t visited before, and was relieved to visit a volunteer in a more isolated site that seems to have adjusted successfully. I loved Katie´s house halfway up a hill at the foot of the mountain, especially the hammock hung in front of her front door. As much as I´m coming to appreciate Guatemalan food, I was in absolute heaven to get some comfort food home-cooked by an American... Cheese sandwiches, Spagetti with fresh tomato sauce, different types of tea, and trader Joe´s dark chocolate, YUM!

This morning we went to the school in San Antonio, and I was pleasantly surprised by the progress being made there. A fresh coat of cement covers the soccer field, replacing the dusty patch of dirt previously there. The bathrooms now have running water, so the kids can use the toilets and wash their hands at school. We arrived during recess, and a mother was distributing snack, a sweet white oatmeal-like mixture, from a giant pot—the money from the government to buy snacks has finally arrived, and local mothers take turns cooking. We practiced giving health lessons to the kids—I gave a class about the 5 senses with an activity where the kids walked a mini-obstacle course in pairs, one kid with eyes closed and the other as a guide. It went well, the kids greeted us warmly and seemed a lot more active and receptive than in the past. It was very encouraging.

This afternoon my fellow trainee Sarah came over to watch a movie at my house, but we ended up skipping the movie in favor of siting out on the patio with my host mom Chica and chatting for almost 2 hours. We talked about life, family, her aspirations for her kids. She also told us about her life before getting married—old boyfriends, how she and her sisters ended up with their respective spouses, and other stories from her life. She's only about 10 years older than I am, but has already been married nearly 20 years. It was so nice just sitting and relaxing, hearing her perspectives about things.


The other night I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to go to the bathroom. When I need to get up during the night I often use my cell phone screen as a flashlight to see where I'm going. Half asleep, I fumbled with the buttons to make the screen light up. As I raised the curtain to walk into the bathroom, I glanced at the screen and realized, to my horror, that I had accidentally hit the call button and had called Glenda, the 23 year old host sister of my fellow trainee Adrian. I didn't know if the call had gone through yet, and immediately hung up. I didn't know what to do, but didn't think calling back and trying to explain myself would be a good idea, so I just tried to go back to sleep.

The next morning when Chica went over to Adrian's house to pick up fresh tortillas, Glenda asked if everything was alright with me, and Chica came home asking me what happened. I did my best to explain the situation, hoping she would believe me and not think the Gringo had lost his mind and was actually stalking her sister. Fortunately I was able to explain myself sufficiently—I don't know what I would have done if I didn't speak Spanish—and went right over to talk to Glenda.

Glenda is a very exceptional young woman in Guatemala. She is exceedingly outspoken and quick witted, sometimes to a fault. She reminds me of Beatrice from Shakespeare's “Much Ado About Nothing”. I love hanging out with her and matching wits, going back and forth sarcastically, always in good humor.

I arrived at her house and, with much embarrassment, attempted to explain the situation. Fortunately, despite waking up the house in the middle of the night, everyone took the situation with a laugh, and it's now become a family joke. Glenda told me that if I need help going to the bathroom again to please just call a few minutes prior.


The last week has been very pleasant, and training seems to be winding down (even though there's still almost a month left). Last week we had a pleasant visit with Ame, another volunteer in the field. We also got to make a few afternoon visits to Antigua, the beautiful colonial city surrounded by volcanoes an hour away from here. Last Saturday we went to Monterico, a gorgeous black sand beach on the Pacific Guatemalan coast. Despite the 4 hour commute to get there (as well as a 4 hour return trip), we had a wonderful time sitting in the sand, swimming in the warm blue waves of the pacific, and sipping cold cervezas. On Sunday my good friend Erin came to visit Xenacoj. By coincidence it was Sarah's host sister and host father Martha and Porfirio's birthday, and we had a very pleasant birthday celebration with them, then went to a cafe in San Lucas for a while in the afternoon.

Yesterday we had a pizza lunch with the U.S. Ambassador at the Peace Corps office. I was pretty impressed by his candor—he spoke fairly openly of the involvement of the U.S. Government, his predecessor in fact, in the 1954 coup which ousted the democratically elected Arbenz government in Guatemala. He spoke and answered our questions for 2 full hours, giving us advice for the next 2 years. I enjoyed the experience and look forward to meeting him again for our swear in at the end of the month, which will be at his residence in Guatemala City.